It is true that gifts celebrating Bar Mitzvah and other events should not be given with the expectation of receiving a thank you in return. However a personalized thank you note is always very nice to receive. In our fast paced world thank you notes are often a very welcome surprise.

A written thank you note is a small token of appreciation for that wedding, shower, anniversary, Bar or Bat Mitzvah as well as a birthday gift. If a gift is sent, a thank you note also serves to notify the giver the gift was actually received.

I do not feel it is not old fashioned to send thank you notes. Rather I feel it is the proper thing to do.

It is only common courtesy to spend a few minutes and respond with a written thank you note. You should acknowledge a person who goes out of their way to pick out a gift they feel that the recipient will like and use. It is certainly not acceptable to wait to see if a check was received is by reviewing bank statement to show the check was deposited and cashed.

Yes, I know we are all busy these days. We all have many daily demands.

• But is that just an excuse for not acknowledging a gift that was given to us?
• If you do no send a thank you note, do you think the giver will be so inclined to give again for your next celebration or next event?
• Will he or she be generous for a future celebration?

There can be accommodations even if the gift’s recipient is disabled and unable to write all the thank yous himself or herself. I once had a client with a disabled son who could not write his thank you notes himself for his Bar Mitzvah celebration.

Our solution was to have him write one thank you note. Then I had the thank you note reproduced on multiple thank you cards. He was thus able to send his thank you notes to his guests for all the gifts that he received at his Bar Mitzvah and party. His parents thought that it was really important for their son to thank their guests for the presents their son received.

In my opinion, thank you notes are a must.